Conversations from the Bathroom

SETTING: BEN IS AT THE SINK IN OUR GUEST BATHROOM, AND I AM GETTING IN THE SHOWER.

ME: I'm so glad we don't have to get ready in a bathroom this small every day.

BEN: Yeah, but it would be okay.

ME: Why do you have to be so positive all the time?

BEN: It's just my nature.

ME: Well, it's kind of annoying.

BEN: (pause)   You're right. Being in a bathroom this small would really suck. I would hate it. I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. We would probably break up and never speak to each other again. I'm going to go get some alcohol and start drinking.

ME: (laughing hysterically in the shower)


Point proven.


HOLLA -

Weekend

This weekend, Ben is tiling our master bathroom. He already did our guest bathroom, and he rocked it. Did I mention he had never tiled anything before and did it with minimal help from anyone? He borrowed our neighbor's tile saw, asked advice from my dad and brother, and figured out the rest from the internet. I am so proud and blessed to have such a Mr. Fixit in my house.

While Ben is preoccupied, Millie and I have decided to take this time to accessorize. She likes my bracelets. (What girl doesn't?) She liked one of them so much that she decided to break it and eat the little plastic beads. Lucky for her, I was right there to extract each one of them with my sharp fingernails. Guess which one of us was freaked out, and which one of us was pissed off?

Last weekend was Millie's first birthday. Oh, how I can't even put all of the emotions into words that come along with your first child having her first birthday. I will devote at least one blog to this in the coming week. Seven days later, SOMEONE is still having a hard time letting go of the party. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

Why is Ben tiling, you say? Because we are getting ready to put our house on the market. I want to get the *@&$ out of here so bad I can hardly stand it. Being cooped up in this teeny house all weekend with a toddler who doesn't want to take a nap half of the time is enough of an explanation. (We did make it out to shred some paper and go to the farmer's market, but still.) Please God, help us (and my brother and sister-in-law) sell our house soon.

Since Little Bit is one now, she can switch from formula to whole milk. Easy transition for the easiest baby in the world, difficult transition for the mother who has a difficult time with her kid's transitions. I struggled hard with breastfeeding, and when it was over, I mourned. I struggled getting used to the formula thing, and now, I tear up thinking about losing my job as bedtime bottle giver, which I probably missed less than ten of out of her 365+ days of life. Now I worry that she isn't getting enough to eat and that she will be hungry. Given the fact that she is in the 85 percentile for weight, I don't think I have anything to be concerned about. Still, though, new parenting stuff is tough. Period.

Today we will take Mills to get her one year pictures taken. I am praying that she a)is happy, b)cooperates, and c)has a decent photographer. Thank you, God, for Groupon, and thank you God for getting us through this crazy, hectic weekend.

HOLLA -

Easter

Why I Work (And Don't Stay Home).

I work part-time. I teach toddler through second grade music at a private school, and I love it. I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. I would set up a little classroom in the basement of my house, complete with a chalkboard on the wall and a language arts teacher's manual that I hustled from a teacher in the second grade. I had a bell and one of those chalk holders so my hands didn't get all chalky when I was writing on the board. I would spend HOURS down there perfecting my craft.



I didn't know what kind of teacher I wanted to be until I was in high school. I loved my music teacher so much - he was amazing...one of the biggest influences in my high school career, for sure. He believed in me, and I knew then that I wanted to teach music.



As you can tell, teaching is just in my blood. I've always wanted to do it, always had a passion for it. Even when I have hard days (or weeks, or years) and think about quitting, there is nothing else in the world I can imagine doing other than this. I'm good at it, and when I am doing it, it feels like all of the planets are aligning and everything is right with the world. Energy flows through me and it all just "clicks".

So, I teach. I teach because it is what I was meant to do.



I also teach because I don't want to stay home. Gasp! That's right - I said it. I do not want to stay home with my children. Staying at home all day, every day, is not my cup of tea. (No offense to all of the stay-at-home-moms out there! If it is your calling, then carry on, brave souls!) I wouldn't get to interact with adults all day. I wouldn't have professional conversations and attend workshops with colleagues who share my passion for education. I wouldn't feel like I was making my mark in the world in the way I was supposed to. I wouldn't be my best.



Recently, Ben told me that he wished he made a ton of money so I could just stay home and go shopping all day. And I told him that, no matter how much bank he brought home, I would never want to stay home - I would always choose to work. I just feel this innate desire to give something of myself for the betterment of others, and although I do this as a mom, I am called to do more.



So, for my family, for our home, for our finances, for my daughter, for the world, and for myself....

I teach.

HOLLA -