FIRST VLOG!

If I Had a Million Dollars....

I was driving on the highway the other day and saw a Powerball sign that said the jackpot was something like $222 million. Ben and I do not play the lottery, but whenever we pass a sign like that, it's always fun to daydream and "plan out" what we would do if we REALLY had $222 million, or $20 million, or even $2 million!!!!

So, because summer is the stuff of daydreams, I am going to share with you what I would (and WILL - ha!) do with a million dollars...or so. :-)

1. Pay off debt. We don't have too much, but boy would I love to get rid of it.

2. Buy a new house. I'm not sure if it would be our KC house, or our Beach House in the Carolinas, or BOTH! Either way, we would buy a new house. (I want you to know that I put the words "Beach House" in capitals because I have the utmost respect for the house that I know in my heart we will someday own. :-))

3. Buy Ben a Jeep Wrangler. Not even a new one - he wants a '76 Jeep Wrangler something-or-other, and I would make sure he got one.

4. Buy me a convertible, so we could have it at the Beach House when we need to go to the market, or take our guests around town and show them the sights.

5. Pay off the debt of our immediate families. You've heard rich people talk about how hard it is to set boundaries with family once you've become wealthy, but I think this is a good starting point. Not saying we wouldn't help out others, but hey - we're only dreaming here. :-)

6. Take our immediate families on some sort of fantastic vacation to celebrate.

7. Pay all construction/building costs left at St. Paul's, where I teach. And whatever money they thought they might need in the near future, I would give that to them, too.

8. Start a plan of mass giving, like Dave Ramsey says. There are a lot of other places that could benefit from our massive windfall like our church, local charities, hospitals, etc. So we would figure out how we could help places like that for the long-term.

9. Saving, of course....LOTS of saving. :-)


So if you ever see Ben and me on the news for becoming millionaires, you can check back here to see what our plan of action will be.

Now I'm really going to snap myself out of this daydream by balancing my checkbook.

HOLLA -

My New Obsession

You know when something makes you feel so full of life that you're going to explode?

That's what this music did to me.

I have a feeling these songs are going to be my summer anthems.

Do something that makes you feel ALIVE.

Sunday

I tried to take a picture of Sylvia's necklace she made me, but apparently my camera is not fancy enough to take close-up pictures. :-)



You should still check out her etsy shop, though, and buy something so you can have it for yourself instead of hearing about mine.

Tomorrow will be busy with doing all of the things I won't be able to do for a few days after my surgery. I am thankful for the change of seasons, opportunities, responsibilities, and routine that is coming each day.

BLESSINGS ON YOUR WEEK!!!

HOLLA -

The End and the Beginning

Today was my last day of teaching. Not ever - just this school year. The last day always goes by in such a blur. You think that you'll have the chance to greet each child for the last time, but time moves quickly and they are out the door without even realizing they won't see you until the fall, or in some cases, ever again.

It wasn't the last day of class for the students, just for me. I am having surgery next Tuesday and will be missing the entire last week of school.

I am scared about this surgery. I have had it before, and I'm having it again, hopefully for the last time. It's not the actual surgery that scares me. My doctor is AMAZING, and I trust him completely. It's the whole idea of having to have a procedure done because there is something wrong with you - THAT is the scary part. Everyone will have SOMETHING wrong with them at some point in their life, although it may not require surgery. It's not a big deal, but it just sucks when you know there are people out there that don't have your problem (mine is a girl one) and will never have to deal with what you are dealing with. (***spoiler alert - this is what my book is about.***)

My faith is being tested to the max right now. I need so much to believe that everything is going to work out in a way that is aligned with God's plan for me. This is hard, seeing as I am a COMPLETE control freak. "God, I know you've got this covered, but if I could just go ahead and manipulate this situation as much as humanly possible, I'd feel a LOT better about it. Thanks."

Nice try, right?

Please pray for Ben and me. We need strength and hope. I feel in my heart that there is a HUGE blessing waiting on the other side of this, and it is going to be so full of love that it is going to knock us down.

HOLLA -

p.s. - my friend Sylvia is a huge part of this faith process for me. Go to her blog - there is a link on my page. It's SYLVIA'S INSIGHT. She makes the most AMAZING jewelry and you NEED to go to her etsy shop IMMEDIATELY and buy something from her. She made me a necklace that says "BELIEVE". I will take a picture of it and post it on here so you can see what it looks like. This woman is so insanely talented, and she just had a baby so she needs your business. :-)

Heavy Heart

My heart is sad today. Too much to do, not enough time. So much expectation, so little understanding. A lot of frustration...a complaint. The world can be a cold and unforgiving place.

I have such a thin skin, and when I tell people this, they don't believe me, but it's true. I am get so hurt when people say unkind things. I just expect everyone to be peaceful and respect each other, but it's not realistic. As a side note, I have been mean and disrespectful plenty of times in my life. But I always try to make it better somehow when I come out of my ugly place.

I just want to love and hug everyone who has been hurt today or yesterday, or any day for that matter. I will not let go of the love of God in my heart. Some days it feels like I'm hanging on for dear life, but I will never let go.

FOOD FOOD FOOD

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've had plenty of things to talk about, but for some reason they've been holed up inside, as if protected by a warm fuzzy blanket that is my skin. Lots of contemplation, wonderment, daydreaming. I certainly like to share things that are on my mind, but lately I've wanted to just keep them to myself.

However, I've some free time today, so I'm going to post about a love/hate relationship I am having. With FOOD.

Boy, do I looooove food. I know everyone pretty much enjoys food, but I live for it! Sometimes I wake up just thinking about what I'm going to eat that day. Wierd, I know. I get excited when there's a meal coming up that I REALLY like, and if I know I'm not going to eat something I REALLY like, I'll probably be disappointed.

I know our bodies were not meant to function this way. Eat for survival, not for pleasure. However, my brain has been trained otherwise, and I certainly eat for pleasure much more than survival.

I've never been particularly overweight, but I've never been at my "ideal" weight for very long, either. Always 5 or 10 pounds over the norm. The good news is that whenever I even remotely try, I can usually bounce back to that target weight in no time. The bad news is, I rarely try.

So here I am, looking ahead to the scary months of summer when I'll squeeze my fat butt into a swimsuit that doesn't fit, only to yell at myself and get angry about what a lazy glutton I've been. After I get over it and feel better, I'll reward myself with some ice cream or a big fat Pepsi. See my problem?

I also have this wierd proportion thing with food. Whenever I eat, I have to have EQUAL PARTS of each food on my plate or at the end of the meal I freak out. There has to be one bite of everything on my plate at the very end, or else I get irritated. I once watched in horror as a friend of mine inhaled an ENTIRE order of french fries without even TOUCHING his burger. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!" I screamed. He apparently didn't share my "equal parts" philosophy.

The sad thing is, even if I wanted to be a good, healthy eater, I really don't know how. My kitchen table growing up consisted of meat and potato meals, heavy with some kind of bread and a boat-load of gravy. This is what I grew up on; this is why I am the woman I am today!!! We ate large portions and were encouraged to clean our plates.

Now, I am in NO WAY blaming my family for my bad habits. I am old and wise enough to make my own choices, but it's REALLY HARD when all you know is meat and potatoes, and that's all that tastes good to you.

So the point of this is, I read this book and decided I needed to keep a food journal. I am writing down everything I eat until further notice, and I am hoping that it will help me realize how unhealthy my meals usually are.

I'm also trying to wean myself off of caffeine. I don't drink coffee, but I'm pretty sure I keep the Pepsi-Cola company in business most of the time. I've decided going cold turkey isn't a good idea (aren't I nice to myself???), so this week it's one a day, if I feel like drinking one at all. Next week I'll go to one every other day, and maybe then just one a week.

I'm confident at this point, but it's only Monday. We'll see how strong I am in a couple of weeks!

Anyway, just wanted to share my struggle, as putting it out there into cyberspace might just be the accountability I need.

HOLLA -