Haskamp Holla

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Fresh Flowers Change Everything

On Thursday, my first day of school, my parents sent me flowers. They send me flowers every year on the first day of school. This was the tenth consecutive flower arrangement from my parents. My mom always asks the florist to do a school theme. One year, I got flowers in a porcelain pencil vase. Another year it was a school bus. (My toddler kids LOVE the school bus.) I don't remember most years, but I remember that they have never missed. This year, it was a red vase with apples and pencils. And the flowers are BEAUTIFUL.

Now the flowers are on my kitchen table. We had a showing today. We have another showing tomorrow (Thank you, Jesus). If most people are like me, they will see the fresh flowers and not be able to resist making us an offer. And I will forever be indebted to my parents for providing the fresh flowers that looked so beautiful on our table that sealed the deal on our house.

HOLLA -

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Seeing Things Through Different Glasses

I got new glasses today. I haven't gotten new glasses since about 2000 - that's a lot of adjusting these eyes have got to do in the next few days. I am only wearing them for an hour or so at a time so I don't get a headache from the eye strain. Vegging out at the computer isn't helping much, I suppose.

I've realized lately that my life isn't as much about the things that are happening as it is the way that I'm looking at those things. Attitude has become my new mountain to climb, and I haven't even laced up my hikers.

Let's start with marriage. Ben and I just celebrated our five year anniversary in July. When we got married, we said we'd spend our five year anniversary in Antigua. Instead, we dropped off our sweet 15 month old into the care of my parents while we dined at the Melting Pot. Not quite the Caribbean escape we had planned, but it was celebratory nonetheless. Ben and I never used to argue or snip at each other. It was actually kind of disgusting how well we got along and connected with each other. I could sometimes catch a friend or two puking into the corner as we laughed and giggled and flirted with each other endlessly. Now that we're parents, it ain't so easy. Time together is short. We snip often. I wonder sometimes what happened to that amazing connection we used to have. Since I've never gotten this far into a marriage before, I'm realizing this is simply the changing of the tide, and we must adapt. My mind says, "Freak out! Something has gone terribly wrong! No longer are you the couple you used to be!" And my heart says, "Look into his eyes. Remember the love. Watch him play and laugh with Amelia. Feel his gaze rest on you when you aren't looking. He is and will always be THE ONE." I think I should listen to my heart.

School is about to start. Last year was not so great. Great personally for me, yes. I am proud of the teacher I have become, although I still have a long way to go. It was no so great professionally in ways I can't really explain. When I think about starting back, although I am excited to get back into my classroom, my stomach turns to knots. I will be praying incessantly for peace and wisdom, and the ability to shut my mouth. More importantly, I need to not care so much about little things that ignite my angry fire. I may not be able to change certain situations, but I can change my attitude and my outlook.

Our house. Is still. For sale. It hasn't been quite a month, but not a looker have we had. We don't want to lose money, but we've come to the realization that we must lower our price if we want to get out of here in this crap economy. We won't be purchasing our dream home by far, but three bedrooms, a two car garage, a basement, and a yard would be nice. If we are still here at Christmas, it's up to me and my attitude to be grateful and not the Grinch.

We are tightening our purse strings, once again. A few years ago, we read Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover. We paid of our credit cards, never to be used again, and started our Debt Snowball. We even started to take Financial Peace at our church, and then the stork arrived. Since then, we have slacked off in a major way, although we have kept the credit cards from creeping back in. It's time to get serious again, though. No more needless trips, outfits, activities, etc. Oh boy, will I be tested. Especially because where I work ain't exactly home to the "have-not's", if you know what I am saying. But we have a plan for our future, and we have to be strong. My heart needs a money makeover in order for our family to have one. 80% behavior, 20% head knowledge, says Dave. We must! We must! We must increase our....financial responsibility.

So I've got my work cut out for me in the attitude department in the way that I view life. Hopefully, like these new glasses, I will make the needed adjustments. Otherwise, bring on the Tylenol.

HOLLA -

Thursday, August 2, 2012

I'm Okay, You're Okay

My life is messy. Is yours? I'm guessing it is, because I am hearing lots of stories lately about people's messy lives. I personally have a hard time swimming through the goo (That's what I'll call the hard stuff. Goo.) and floating on the pretty surface, soaking in the goodness of life. I think I was born this way, and God don't make no junk. However, I know there's always room for improvement, and God wants me to work on it.

I'll even admit to you that I like hearing about other people's goo because it makes me feel better about my own goo. There, I said it. It is terrible, isn't it? But it's true. Sometimes I get it in my head that I'm the only one treading goo and everyone else seems to be getting a nice tan on the beach. The truth is, though, that we're all swimming through the goo together. This is why I don't understand why people blog about/post/tweet/talk/etc. about their non-goo lives, because I know it's a bunch of crap. Of course, the objective here is not to obsess or lament over the goo, because that's no way to live. But empathy always wins out over superficiality. If you want someone to swim in the goo with you, call me. I'm a great goo swimmer. I would love to keep you company.

In the meantime, let's remind ourselves that this is all temporary. There's a goo-less place waiting for all of us. It's called heaven. And although I appreciate all of the lessons that I'm learning here on this lovely planet, I dream about being home, free from worry and the troubles of this life. (Goo.)

It seems that I am not the only one who feels this way, because many, many amazing people have written songs about this very thing. I cling to these words so tightly and I know in my heart they are true. If you are in the goo and are yearning to be free, please click below. And remember that you are not alone. It's going to be okay. I'm okay, and you're okay. Okay? Okay.

HOLLA -

Monday, July 30, 2012

32

These are the only two pieces left of my birthday cake. I forgot to take a picture before we devoured it. It read, "Happy Birthday Norman and Missy". My father-in-law's birthday was on Sunday, so we got to celebrate together. Just like my niece Kate's party sign, ringing in 32 was...AWESOME.

HOLLA -

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

My Day at the Airport

Last Wednesday, I left my parents' house to drive to the airport. I was on my way to Atlanta to see Abby, and one of my other best friends from college, Elise, who lives in Nebraska but was flying down to meet us. I had a standby ticket because Abby's husband, also one of my best friends, works for an airline company, so they get free buddy passes.

I parked in the economy lot and took a picture of where I was so I wouldn't forget when I came back on Friday.

I took the shuttle to the terminal, got my ticket, went through security, and found a seat until the 8:00 flight boarded. I left my parents' house around 6:30 a.m.

Normally, getting on a flight from KC to Atlanta wouldn't be much of a problem. But there WAS a problem. It was the day after the All-Star game. A game that happened to be in KC the night before. Abby had warned me. "I just thought of something that might make your travels difficult," she texted me the night before. I agreed, but didn't feel any need to worry. I WOULD be in Atlanta by Wednesday evening.

So, the 8:00 flight boards. And it's full.

So I grab a water and a breakfast bar and get cozy at the gate with this:

The next flight was around 10:00. A few hours to wait. No problem. I ask the lady at the desk how it looks. "There's only one person on the list ahead of you," she says. "We got three people on the last flight." My hopes are soaring. Soon enough, the 10 - something flight is ready to board. I am feeling good energy. I sit on the edge of my seat with my standby ticket.

And the flight is full.

Next flight - almost 1:00. I am alone at the gate. I fight back tears as I look out the window. I am so mad at myself for being upset, but these kinds of things just crush me. Everything in the world should go according to my plan. Something is terribly awry.

I wait a few more hours to sit through an agonizing boarding process to find out if I'm on.

I'm not.

I call Abby. I am upset. She tells me there are two more flights to try for the day. The 3:00 flight is already full. "Don't even try," she says. "Go home to your parents' house and relax. Take a nap. I'll update you with the status of the 5:50 something flight soon."

So I leave. Good thing I didn't check a bag. I get the shuttle and get back in my car. I pay $6.00 for parking and drive the 15 minutes back to my parents'. I try to nap but can't relax. I get on the computer. I try to read. I look at their movies but nothing sounds good. I watch t.v. My best friend from Denver calls. Maria. She lightens my mood.

By this time, Elise has already got on a flight, flown, and landed in Atlanta. Abby has picked her up. I can imagine the fun they are having already. Abby calls and says my chances for the 5:50ish flight look good. It's up to me, but she thinks I should go for it. I have to. I have to be with my girls.

I freshen up and drive back to the airport. I park my car in the economy lot and get on the shuttle to the terminal. I go through security. Again. I sit and wait among a sea of all-star fans. I secretly curse them all for this mess of a day. The plane boards late. I wait. The lady calls several names to board. My hopes are up. They don't show. I wait anxiously at the counter with a few other freeloaders while texting Abby nonstop. She and Elise are beside themselves wondering if I'll make the last flight of the day. So am I.

The lady disappears for what seems like forever to the plane. The five or so people she called never show. I am ready to board. And here she comes.

"Sorry, guys. Flight's full."

What the %$#&? Where are the people who she called? Were they already on the plane and they just didn't know it? I was in such shock I couldn't even be upset. I just got my bag, got on the shuttle, got back in my car, and drove home.

What a day. What an emotional roller coaster of a day.

I spent the rest of the weekend doing my normal things, trying not to think about Abby and Elise down there hanging out, having conversations I was meant to be included on. I was looking most forward to some good, long chats about life...the best kind. Instead, I did laundry, played with Amelia, cleaned bathrooms, and unpacked my suitcase. That was killer.

I feel like I missed out in the biggest way. It's so hard to get good girl time in anymore, so any chance I have is SO important. Now I feel like a junkie in complete withdrawal.

I need my girls.

HOLLA -

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Summer So Far

Sheesh - for all this time off, I sure haven't been blogging much. (Sorry Melissa S. from work.) :-) There's been a lot of everything and nothing going on, so I guess I'll just give a short run down.

Amelia and I have been home together a lot. At first, this idea scared the crap out of me. But we have found our rhythm.

Wake up. Watch the Today Show. Eat Breakfast. Play. Nap. (this usually includes both of us.) Wake up. Eat Lunch. Do some chores. Go somewhere. (sometimes this is just to Sonic for Happy Hour.) Come home. Nap. (just Amelia this time.) Wake up. Wait for Dada to come home. Play. Fix Dinner. Yell and clap for Dada when he comes home.

I taught one week of summer school, and have one more to go in a few weeks. It was a songwriting class, and I was blown away by the songs that the girls in my class came up with. I could write songs all day long, and it was a true joy to help some young ladies create some beautiful music.

Our house is officially for sale. Woop Woop. I felt all confident before "the sign" arrived, and now I feel nervous and scared that no one is going to want to live here. Ben and I have been working our butts off to get this place ready, and it looks amazing. Dear God, guide us in the right direction - our ways are not your ways, and your plan is always GOOD.

I have been spending time with great friends in the past few weeks. Elise came and stayed 5 days with us. What a joy. I went to lunch with my friend Anne on Monday. I love her so much and enjoy every second I get to spend with her. On Tuesday, my friend Sarah and her son Henry came into town from Connecticut and stopped by so we could play and chat.

It was glorious. That friendship is like an old sweater. The longer you have it, the more comfortable it gets. This Friday, it is likely that we will attend a barbeque with my oldest friends, Carrie and Liz. It goes without saying that the bond we have (and our moms have) is pretty awesome. Next week, by the grace of God and Summer School, I am flying down to Atlanta to see Abby, one of my best friends from Northwest. Our girl times are precious and few, and I am giddy like a school girl to see her.

So that's pretty much it. It seems that for most everyone, summer has been full of sun and fun and vacations and friends and family and good food and happiness. I wish this for everyone, as it is my favorite time of year.

I'll end with one of my favorite songs, which was played at Kurt's funeral, as it was perfectly appropriate. Even in the waiting, and in the everyday hum of life, and in the unknown, in every season, God is good.

HOLLA -