Why Didn't I Get a T-Shirt!?

Remember these characters?  The college buddies I love so much and have so much affection for?

Well, they're all on my list.  I had a dream two nights ago that we were all out of town at someone's wedding, and Abby had some t-shirts made for everyone to wear to the reception. (Good call, Abs.)  :-) And I'm at the reception, with my friends AND my whole family, and in walks this huge group of people with Maria at the helm, wearing these damn t-shirts.  And guess who didn't know anything about it?  Guess who DIDN'T get one?

ME!!!!!

I was so mad and embarrassed.  How was I the only one who didn't know about the t-shirts?  Even BEN had one on!!!!

I went to where my family was sitting at a big round table, and they were all so happy.  I should have just forgotten about the snub and sat with them and enjoyed myself.  But instead, I went back and made ugly faces at all of my friends who were wearing the shirts.  (They weren't even that cool looking.)

I think Abby and Elise were scrambling at this point to find an extra t-shirt, but it was too late.  I was the only loser who didn't get one.

So, to all of my so called "friends" at the wedding, THANKS A LOT.  My feelings were really hurt.  And sorry, mystery couple, for being pissed off at your wedding.  I hope you liked my gift.  I'm sure it was the biggest, most expensive one.

(Hey - it was MY dream, wasn't it?)

:-)

HOLLA -

Our House

Is a very, very, very fine house.  We don't have two cats in the yard, but we daily have turkeys and/or deer that make their way across the field in the back, and it makes us feel like we live in a nature preserve.

It's been a while since we've had any showings.  We may lower our price one more time, but that's it.  If our condo doesn't sell before the holiday run, we'll close up shop and open back up in the spring.

I was going to blog next about how I can't stop looking at other houses online.  I was going to tell you about how I imagine our furniture in them, with holiday decorations on the mantel and Amelia's picture on the wall.  Then I was going to say that I see us in the master bedroom laying on the bed watching t.v., or me in the kitchen preparing meals for family and friend get-togethers.  I was going to say how I often imagine myself unpacking boxes and boxes of sentimental items that have been packed away for over a year, and proudly displaying them on shelves and in cabinets.  I was going to tell you how I picture a manicured lawn, both of our cars in the garage, and flowers lining the sidewalk.

But then I thought of her.

And I remembered that God is perfect, and so is His plan.  And His ways are not our ways.  And His strength is perfect.  And I have the perfect proof of that in my almost 17-month old miracle.

And so I rest in the love of the Father, and know that, even as I sit at this computer on a Sunday night, He is working everything for my good.  It doesn't mean I have to like it, and it especially doesn't mean I have to understand it.  But in the waiting, behind the impatience and daydreaming, God is so good.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes."  Romans 8:28

HOLLA -

Snapshots

I realized at one of Ben's family's recent gatherings that we haven't been so great about getting pictures of Amelia to our family.  I figure by now, that she is almost 17 months old, we should have had four or five studio sessions with her.  We've had two, and they were both awful.  We bought a really nice camera right before she was born, but ever since she turned one, the really nice camera has been replaced by our oh-so-convenient smartphones.  I need to be more intentional about capturing her life in pictures.  So, the other day I took some.

I really want to photo shop the boogers out of her nose, but for now, there they are...an honest close-up of my beautiful daughter.  Some days she literally takes my breath away (boogers included).

Look out, boys.

HOLLA -

If You Ever Want To Get Me Something Really Nice...

They have these wind chimes at a garden nursery near our home.  There must be twenty different kinds, including a ginormous one that hangs from the ceiling that you have to play by grabbing this huge paddle and swinging it through the air.  It is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

These chimes are expensive.  So if you ever want to buy me a nice gift, or happen to win the lottery someday and want to be generous, I'll take one of these.

HOLLA -

Fresh Flowers Change Everything

On Thursday, my first day of school, my parents sent me flowers.  They send me flowers every year on the first day of school.  This was the tenth consecutive flower arrangement from my parents. My mom always asks the florist to do a school theme.  One year, I got flowers in a porcelain pencil vase.  Another year it was a school bus.  (My toddler kids LOVE the school bus.)  I don't remember most years, but I remember that they have never missed.  This year, it was a red vase with apples and pencils.  And the flowers are BEAUTIFUL.  

Now the flowers are on my kitchen table.  We had a showing today.  We have another showing tomorrow (Thank you, Jesus).  If most people are like me, they will see the fresh flowers and not be able to resist making us an offer.  And I will forever be indebted to my parents for providing the fresh flowers that looked so beautiful on our table that sealed the deal on our house.  

HOLLA - 

Seeing Things Through Different Glasses

I got new glasses today.  I haven't gotten new glasses since about 2000 - that's a lot of adjusting these eyes have got to do in the next few days.  I am only wearing them for an hour or so at a time so I don't get a headache from the eye strain.  Vegging out at the computer isn't helping much, I suppose.

I've realized lately that my life isn't as much about the things that are happening as it is the way that I'm looking at those things.  Attitude has become my new mountain to climb, and I haven't even laced up my hikers.

Let's start with marriage.  Ben and I just celebrated our five year anniversary in July.  When we got married, we said we'd spend our five year anniversary in Antigua.  Instead, we dropped off our sweet 15 month old into the care of my parents while we dined at the Melting Pot.  Not quite the Caribbean escape we had planned, but it was celebratory nonetheless.  Ben and I never used to argue or snip at each other.  It was actually kind of disgusting how well we got along and connected with each other.  I could sometimes catch a friend or two puking into the corner as we laughed and giggled and flirted with each other endlessly.  Now that we're parents, it ain't so easy.  Time together is short.  We snip often.  I wonder sometimes what happened to that amazing connection we used to have.  Since I've never gotten this far into a marriage before, I'm realizing this is simply the changing of the tide, and we must adapt.  My mind says, "Freak out!  Something has gone terribly wrong!  No longer are you the couple you used to be!"  And my heart says, "Look into his eyes.  Remember the love.  Watch him play and laugh with Amelia.  Feel his gaze rest on you when you aren't looking.  He is and will always be THE ONE."  I think I should listen to my heart.

School is about to start.  Last year was not so great.  Great personally for me, yes.  I am proud of the teacher I have become, although I still have a long way to go.  It was no so great professionally in ways I can't really explain.   When I think about starting back, although I am excited to get back into my classroom, my stomach turns to knots.  I will be praying incessantly for peace and wisdom, and the ability to shut my mouth.  More importantly, I need to not care so much about little things that ignite my angry fire.  I may not be able to change certain situations, but I can change my attitude and my outlook.

Our house.   Is still.  For sale.  It hasn't been quite a month, but not a looker have we had.  We don't want to lose money, but we've come to the realization that we must lower our price if we want to get out of here in this crap economy.  We won't be purchasing our dream home by far, but three bedrooms, a two car garage, a basement, and a yard would be nice.  If we are still here at Christmas, it's up to me and my attitude to be grateful and not the Grinch.

We are tightening our purse strings, once again.  A few years ago, we read Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover.  We paid of our credit cards, never to be used again, and started our Debt Snowball.  We even started to take Financial Peace at our church, and then the stork arrived.  Since then, we have slacked off in a major way, although we have kept the credit cards from creeping back in.  It's time to get serious again, though.  No more needless trips, outfits, activities, etc.  Oh boy, will I be tested.  Especially because where I work ain't exactly home to the "have-not's", if you know what I am saying.  But we have a plan for our future, and we have to be strong.  My heart needs a money makeover in order for our family to have one.   80% behavior, 20% head knowledge, says Dave.  We must!  We must!  We must increase our....financial responsibility.

So I've got my work cut out for me in the attitude department in the way that I view life.  Hopefully, like these new glasses, I will make the needed adjustments.  Otherwise, bring on the Tylenol.

HOLLA -

I'm Okay, You're Okay

My life is messy.  Is yours?  I'm guessing it is, because I am hearing lots of stories lately about people's messy lives.  I personally have a hard time swimming through the goo (That's what I'll call the hard stuff.  Goo.) and floating on the pretty surface, soaking in the goodness of life.  I think I was born this way, and God don't make no junk.  However, I know there's always room for improvement, and God wants me to work on it.

I'll even admit to you that I like hearing about other people's goo because it makes me feel better about my own goo.  There, I said it.  It is terrible, isn't it?  But it's true.  Sometimes I get it in my head that I'm the only one treading goo and everyone else seems to be getting a nice tan on the beach.  The truth is, though, that we're all swimming through the goo together.  This is why I don't understand why people blog about/post/tweet/talk/etc. about their non-goo lives, because I know it's a bunch of crap.  Of course, the objective here is not to obsess or lament over the goo, because that's no way to live.  But empathy always wins out over superficiality.  If you want someone to swim in the goo with you, call me.  I'm a great goo swimmer.  I would love to keep you company.  

In the meantime, let's remind ourselves that this is all temporary.  There's a goo-less place waiting for all of us.  It's called heaven.  And although I appreciate all of the lessons that I'm learning here on this lovely planet, I dream about being home, free from worry and the troubles of this life.  (Goo.)

It seems that I am not the only one who feels this way, because many, many amazing people have written songs about this very thing.  I cling to these words so tightly and I know in my heart they are true.  If you are in the goo and are yearning to be free, please click below.  And remember that you are not alone.  It's going to be okay.  I'm okay, and you're okay.  Okay?  Okay.  

 HOLLA -