Update on An Old Friend

I finally heard back from my friend.

He is doing well!

He is glad I'm doing well.

He's so glad I wrote.

Life is good.

HOLLA -

Why I Don't Read Fiction

I checked out some books at the library the other day.  I mostly read non-fiction because I don't have much time to read, so when I do, I want to learn something and better myself, rather than be entertained.  The truth is, I have read many great fiction books.  When I was growing up, I loved reading Stephen King.  And just recently I finished the Hunger Games trilogy and I thought they were some of the best books I've ever read.  

The problem is that, when I go to the library, I have hundreds of stupid-looking fiction books staring me in the face, most of them with beach scenes and people holding each other in scandalous positions and I know that behind 90% of them is crap.  I know this because I will pick one off the shelf and start reading the first few pages, or even just the jacket.  And the crap flows out like an overflowing toilet.  Any time I go to the library to randomly check out a fictional book, I leave empty handed.  I'm too afraid of wasting my time.

If someone recommends a book, then I will try it, because it must be half decent if so-and-so liked it.  It would help if I was in some sort of book club, probably, and then I could just read what everyone else was reading and the pressure would be off.

So I tried reading this fiction book, the middle one in the pile, and I lasted about three pages.  It was profane and I just couldn't attach myself to the main character, and I gave up.

Now it's on to Donald Miller, who is a brilliant writer of books that I own and have read and have loved.  This book is about his memoir being turned into a movie, and the whole life-changing process he went through.  I love this stuff.  I love other people spilling their guts for real, because that's what life is all about for me.  I don't do small talk, or coast through on the whipped cream of life.  I like to live down in the coffee grounds, and everyone who knows me knows this to be true.

So, if anyone out there knows any good fiction stories that are worth their weight in crap, please enlighten me.  I would gladly accept your challenge, and report back on how you changed my imaginary world for the better.

HOLLA -

Ready for the Weekend

 I think we are ready for Halloween.

This weekend, we are going to Ben's brother and sister-in-law's for their annual Halloween party.   Then, we will spend the night at Ben's dad's.  Ben has been so stressed with work and house stuff that his head is ready to explode.  Going home will be just the ticket.  

We finally got our Halloween costumes figured out.  (Why is it so hard to figure out what YOU'RE going to be when you have kids?)  Millie is going to be a bee, me, a witch, and Ben an aircraft carrier.  (Wait 'til you see his internet-inspired cleverness.)  If you think you can imagine how cute Millie is in her bee costume, well...you just can't.  

We have had quite the few past weeks here at the Haskamp house.  We had Ben's sister and her kids spend a few days with us last weekend, and it was such a blessing.  They are great kids and she is a great SIL who we definitely don't get to spend enough time with.  Last week, I had my second of nine programs for the year, and it was Amazeballs.  I am really in the zone with teaching right now and it is indescribable.  Then, I got to celebrate my oldest bestie Carrie's birthday by going to the movies with her.  Pitch Perfection.  :-)  

And...we bought a house.  I really, really, REALLY want to show it to you, but I'm afraid to because we have the inspection on Monday and we want to make sure everything goes well with that.  But then....

Also, I can't stop thinking about Thanksgiving.  Maybe it's the turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing I keep dreaming about.  Really, though, I think it's knowing that a LOT of family time is coming up.  I am craving time with our families like never before, like I crave the sea.  I want to be in the presence of my grandma and my aunts and lay on comfy couches with a full belly, and laugh and play games and be happy.  Soon.  Soon.

HOLLA - 

We Are Not Moving.

The other day, something amazing happened.  Something that I have been waiting for for ten years.  Something just up the road, about a mile, came into existence, and changed everything.  And my life will never be the same.

We got a brand new, third generation QuikTrip.

It's so monumental that it's almost worth canceling the sale contract on our house.  Almost.

It's one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.  I have stood in the Hall of Mirrors in the Palace of Versailles, and I have watched the sun set on the shores of Kauai's golden sand, but I have never witnessed such perfection as a brand-new QuikTrip with rows and rows of processed goodness.

 The best part is, there is a counter in the back where you can order ice cream.  ICE CREAM!  I am not talking about Klondike bars or frozen drumsticks.  I am talking about people behind the counter who take your order and put Fro-Yo in a cup FOR YOU!!!!

 And you don't even tell them what you want.  You order on this little touch screen that asks you what size, what kind, and what you want in it.  Then it spits out a little receipt and you take it to the front counter.  I know this is very anti-communicative, but imagine that you are having a really crap day and you roll into QT in your sweatpants.  You don't want to talk to anyone or fake a smile, you just want to get your frigging ice cream and wallow in it.  So you go to the little touch screen and type in your order and get your non-fat vanilla with two scoops of M&M's and no one gets hurt.  Don't you see how BRILLIANT this is!?!?!?!?

I'm sure you can imagine how embarrassed Ben was when I was jumping up and down and taking pictures in the new QT while everyone else was just going about their business and acting normal.  Fortunately, he understands my obsession and was silently celebrating with me.  

So, we may not move after all.  Okay, we are still moving.  But if something falls through, I'll only be disappointed until I remember this little diamond shining at the corner of 40 Highway and Lee's Summit Road.  

Be still, my beating, over-caffeinated heart.

HOLLA - 

Happy Birthday, Ben!

Last Sunday, October 7th, was Ben's birthday.  He started out sleeping in, and came downstairs to some gifts on the table.  Amelia wrote on her own card, as you can see.  

Then we ate breakfast.  I'd like to tell you that I made Ben a delicious breakfast of his choosing, but that would be a lie.  I suggested French Toast, because it sounded good (and Ben didn't have any requests of his own), and then I suggested that Ben make it because he is waaaay better at making French Toast than me, and I didn't want to botch breakfast on his birthday.  He loves to cook, anyway.  Win-win.  

Then we sat around and did lots of relaxing.  Amelia even shared a bink and a blankie with her daddy.

Then we decided we better get our lazy buns up and do something fun, so we went to the Missouri Town Fall Festival near our house.  It was a beautiful day, and this festival was great. 

There was music, dancing, woodworking, crafts, food, people wearing old stuff pretending to be from a long time ago (I can't remember what those people are called.  Reenactors?), animals, fun kid stuff...it was really great.  There were lots of people playing hammered dulcimers.  I almost died.  In my lifetime, I will own and learn to play one of these very, very well.

 

We also drove around and looked at houses, and even went to an open house.  (We didn't like it.)  I was hoping Ben would choose someplace to eat out for dinner, because I didn't want to cook and I'm always looking for an excuse to go out to eat.  But, in true Ben fashion, he said, "I'm fine with just going home and eating leftovers."  LAME!  But, it was his birthday, so that's what we did.  (Boo hoo.)

I am so proud to call this guy my husband.  He is a wonderful, caring, kind, funny, loving, righteous man who is THE best father to our daughter that I could ever imagine.  And, he loves the heck out of me.  That counts for big points in my book.  

Happy Birthday, Ben...I love you.

HOLLA - 

An Old Friend

I had a dream last night about an old friend.

(Yes, I am blogging about my dreams again.  When you have a 17-month-old who still wakes up occasionally for a binkie check, you tend to stay in that dream state for most of the night.)

Anyway, this is not the first time that I have dreamt about this old friend.  I dream about him every few months or so.  I can go a long time without one and then, all of the sudden, out of nowhere, here it comes.

The dream usually goes something like this.  We are together with our friends, and I see him.  I am worried because I think he is mad at me.  I don't want him to be mad at me anymore.  So I go over and talk to him, or try to make eye contact with him.  Eye contact is funny, if you knew this friend and our stories.

Sometimes in the dreams, he talks to me.  Other times, he just looks at me and gives me a head nod, and that is enough.

I dream about this old friend because there is an open wound in my heart.  Something happened years ago that made him mad at me.  He thinks I contributed to the end of a relationship he was in.  It was destined to end anyway, but the damage was done.  And it's never been the same.

I didn't invite him to my second wedding.  He played and sang in my first.  I don't talk about him when I bring up my best friends.  He will always be one of them.

This old friend has lots of friends.  He is one of those people who attracts other people to him instantly.  I'm sure he has a whole new life now, and I guess I do too.  But he was a huge part of a snapshot in time that was the best time, without a doubt, of my whole life.  

Sometimes I try to contact this old friend, but he never responds.  Today, instead of just feeling sad about it, I emailed him.

"Hi, how are you?  I haven't talked to you in a very long time.  I hope you are well.  If you are ever in town, you are always welcome at my home."

I don't really know what else to do.  Sometimes things happen, and life goes on.  But there are people who I love and care for in the deepest depths of my soul, and because of what we have been through, I can't imagine that love ever dying.

I love this friend.  Even if we never speak or see each other again, and even if he is still mad at me, or even if he simply doesn't want to be my friend anymore, I will always love him.

Someday, hopefully, my wound will be healed.  

HOLLA -

It's a Miracle!

We got an offer on our condo last Sunday.

Ben and I couldn't believe it.  We thought we would never get out of here.  Our realtor told us we better start getting serious about looking for a new house.  I thought, "This is the place in this process I've been waiting to get to for sooooo long."  Then we prayed lots of prayers of thanksgiving.  They were more like shouts and leaps in the kitchen, actually, but I'm guessing God was pleased just the same.

Then I started to worry.  "What if we can't find the right house?  How will we know what school is best for Amelia?  What will our neighborhood be like?  What if our neighbor doesn't take care of his lawn/has a mean dog/parks lots of cars in the driveway/has loud parties?"  This worry overtook my joy.

Then we got some news.  The buyer is a veteran and he wants to take out a VA loan to buy our place.  But our condos aren't VA approved.  This is a problem.  Maybe even a deal breaker.

I see the dream of new home ownership quickly start to fade.  It doesn't look good for this VA loan.  Our realtor starts the process of figuring out how to get our condo home association VA approved.  This could take days/weeks/months/never happen in a million years.

We stop looking for houses.  As my mom said, the "carrot was dangled right in front of our faces" and there was nothing we could do about it.  We waited for news.  All week.

Finally on Friday, I started to forget and relax.  I wasn't checking my phone and email every 30 minutes to see if there were any updates.  When I got home from work, our realtor called.

"He's going conventional," she says.  "He wants to get a VA loan, but he can do conventional.  Things will move quickly now.  Get out there and find some houses."

More dancing in the kitchen ensues.

So what have I learned so far in this experience?  Appreciate and enjoy every moment of the good.  This is not the time to fret over all of the things that could go wrong while looking for and purchasing a new home.  This is a time to be thankful and rejoice because we are most likely getting the !#$% out of here.  We're not out of the woods yet, but things are definitely looking up.  We are going to an Open House today, and will get really serious next Saturday for sure.  This is happening, people.  We may be setting up our Christmas tree this year in our next home.  Thank you, God.

HOLLA -

p.s. - Happy Birthday today to my wonderful husband, Ben.  More on his big day later....