BLOG VOMIT - Part One

Oh my gosh...it has been so long since I've blogged, and I have SO much to blog about, it is all going to come out in here in a couple of big spews. Prepare yourselves!!!

First of all, it is friggin' cold outside. My hands are aching as I type, because I'm sitting by the back door, and the cold air is seeping through. I HATE Winter. I LOVE Christmas, but I HATE HATE HATE Winter. As soon as Christmas is over, it can go back to being 65 degrees for all I care. I am SO serious about moving to Florida someday soon, or at least to the Carolinas.

Just to warm us all up, here's a picture at Folly Beach in South Carolina.



I wish I was there.



Second of all, I've had some life changers in the past week, mostly having to do with friends. It's amazing how much of life we spend going around thinking things. And most of the time, these things aren't even true. We think about them so much, we begin to accept it as reality, even though the only real thing about it is that is exists in our little pea brains, and no where else. You can really convince yourself of just about anything, even though the exact opposite can be true.

Shall I give an example? I spend a lot of time thinking about my "place" with friends. "How good of friends are we?" "Do they even want to be friends?" "I haven't talked to them in SO long...I'm sure they're so busy with their own life." "I wonder what they're doing?" "They're probably fine with not being friends anymore." "Why haven't I heard from them lately? They must be mad at me." Which turns into... "I can't believe they are mad at me! I guess we're just not that good of friends anymore." "This is so sad...that I lost a friend." "We used to be so close!" "I wonder who their NEW friends are."

LAME, I know, but this is how my brain works. I am also a woman, and we thrive on relationships, so, there you go. My point is, everyone is afraid of many things when it comes to relationships and friends. Afraid of losing them, afraid of making them. Afraid of having too many, afraid of not having enough. Afraid of spending too much time with them, afraid of not seeing them enough. Afraid to get too close, afraid of not having enough to keep close. We are all afraid of losing that which we hold most dear, which in some way always relates back to the ones we love.

What I found out was, more people care about me (and you) than you could ever imagine. And if there's someone out there you haven't spoken to because of this distance or that conversation, or this phone call or that situation, chances are that your friend is sitting around being proud and missing you just like you are, and if you just put your fear aside and make the effort, you will most likely be pleasantly surprised at how much you are loved and needed.

I WAS!!!!!!