Hold the Phone

So Friday, in case you didn't know, I had an amniocentesis done. That's where they stick a hella-long needle into your stomach, then into the amniotic sac to draw amniotic fluid out. This tests your baby's lung maturity. As the baby breathes in and out, it sheds cells from the inside of the lungs that can then be extracted from the fluid to test for maturity. If the lungs were mature, we were going to check in to the hospital tonight for induction.

Seeing as our baby has passed every test it has taken (of course), we were all prepped and ready to go for tonight. Ben has been working his butt off getting the house and cars clean. He worked all day yesterday cleaning up and organizing the garage. The nursery is spotless and everything is in its place, the house is all picked up, the suitcase is packed, although we have some rearranging to do, and my substitute plans are laid out neatly in my classroom. We had a special dinner planned for last night, to celebrate one last outing...just the two of us. We even drove by the hospital while running errands yesterday, and I thought about today and how we would be going there for the REAL THING tonight.

Then, we got a call from our doctor yesterday saying the test results were back and the lungs aren't ready. "Don't go to the hospital tomorrow night," he says. "Just go to your regular appointment on Monday, and call us Monday afternoon to find out what to do next."

Sigh.

Okay, the lungs are not ready. We do NOT want this baby to come if his/her lungs are not ready! But, WE were ready. FINALLY. After finding out about this cholestasis and freaking out and rushing around buying up every last thing we needed and still didn't have...

After breakdowns and anxiety attacks about this baby coming early and us not being mentally or physically prepared...

After the fear monster crept in and started telling me what a crappy mom I was going to be and how I wasn't going to be able to handle it...

After realizing how sad I was to think about not being pregnant anymore, because I loved it and had such a good experience and wasn't ready for it to be over...

We had finally wrapped our heads around all of it and were ready to go.

And now, we wait.



Oh Lord, give us patience.

I am looking at this not as a test, but as an opportunity to grab hold of the excitement I felt thinking that this baby was coming on Monday. I had finally pushed my fears aside and embraced the joy of what was going to happen, and it's still there; I still have it. I just have to hold onto it for (hopefully) just a little bit longer.

...

HOLLA -