During our childbirth classes, the instructor gave us this nice little cheat sheet:
We got to go around the room to little "stations" that were set up so we could "try out" different laboring positions. Some were terrible, a few were great, and most were just okay. It was kind of hard to decide which ones I liked without actually being in a lot of pain. We tried to be serious and pretend anyway, but most of these just made us giggle.
My favorite two involved me sitting on an exercise ball with my arms around Ben's neck, and me laying in kind-of a yoga child's pose, with a pillow on the floor, all by myself. This made Ben nervous, even though I told him he was free to make phone calls, visit the cafeteria, or frankly do whatever the crap he wanted during that one - he wouldn't be needed.
As a matter of fact, most of the ones I liked didn't involve Ben at all. I reassured him by saying that it didn't mean anything bad that I didn't want him touching me during a contraction. Really, it will be best for him, me, the nurses, and everyone else in labor in the maternity ward that day. The less things that triggered my "outside" voice, the better.
Here are a few that I personally think should be reserved exclusively for Chinese acrobats and members of Cirque du Soleil:
We tried this particular one tonight, but we just got the giggles, and both of us ended up tooting, which made me laugh even harder, and almost pee my pants, because there is obviously no bladder muscle control when you're squatting on the floor with your legs wide open. As a tip, I do not recommend trying this after drinking a giant Coke and eating a whole bowl of fettuccine alfredo:
Ah...good times. We can't say we didn't try! I may not be an expert at laboring, but at least we still have our sense of humor...for now.
HOLLA -
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